Monday, February 21, 2011

You know my name, Not my story.

I woke up yesterday morning just like any other day. Woke up at 6 am from my dog sitting on top of me wanting to go outside. I got up, walked downstairs, let him go outside, and went back to sleep. 3 hours later, I got up, got ready for church, and left with my rents. The same awkward feeling that I don’t belong came over me as I walked inside. Strange how things change in just a few months. Somewhere between running into my past and driving too fast to get out of town, I broke down. Clenched fists, loud music, and venting inside my head only got me so far. I calmed down a little when I reached the exit for Stillwater. I knew I was on my way back to something better. A place I find myself taking for granted throughout the day. I hate school. With. A. Passion. Yet, I am so blessed that I can go to school and that my parents can afford it. I walked inside my empty apartment, turned up the music and just sat down on my bedroom floor. I felt emotionally exhausted. As I laid back and stared at the ceiling, I kept thinking about my run in with the past. I thought about how upset it made me, and how hurt I was. I was dwelling on the past. Not only on the past, but also on people and issues that don’t deserve another second of my time.

There is a reason people from your past don't make it to your future folks.

 Whether it’s an old relationship, friendship, or someone that just upset you. They aren’t worth your time. There’s a line from one of my favorite bands, “If It’s the past that you love, then that’s where you can stay.” If people can’t move on from the past, leave them there. I have had a few people prove to me what real friendships and relationships should look like and it shows me I deserve better then what I had. And so do you. Don’t let someone rob you of your happiness. Happiness is the best revenge. Nothing drives people more crazy then seeing you have a good freaking life.

We get so caught up in what we want. The job we want, the friends we want, the amount of money we want, the perfect person we want to spend our life with.. None of us ever stop and think.. what do i deserve? It's insane how people will wait their whole life for that perfect thing or person they "want". WAKE UP. it's okay to be picky on certain issues, it's not okay to stand still when there is a beautiful life right in front of you just waiting for you to live it. Uncross your arms and see all the possibilities right under your nose. There 's not only a beautiful life, there are also beautiful people that could impact your life in such a phenomenal way. So stop wanting perfection. Perfection is boring. 
Lastly. Don't ever let someone make you feel less than you are. There are a few people from my past that caused my struggle with not feeling good enough. But who's to judge? Really? Who the heck do you think you are to judge me? You might know my name, but you don't know my story. I am 100% good enough for you.. and you.. and you. Tell yourself that. Everyday. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are good enough. Because last time I checked, the people that judge are just the people that are too insecure with themselves. I'm not perfect. I have flaws. and I plan on embracing them. I might not be "good enough" for you.. and that's fine.. you are just missing out on one amazing girl. 
Be confident in everything you do. Be patient in everything you do also. I have such an issue with patience, because I have so many dreams, I want to get out there and live all of them. But take a deep breathe and enjoy life at this very moment. Because if you don't, you might miss out on something you've always DESERVED.

Confession: I'm just a simple, southern girl with a big heart and a list of dreams. I think I might be what you have been looking for.
"Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to this place that we'd meet. Then you'll see me waiting for you.." :)

Quote: "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be burdened by your old nonsense."

1 comment:

  1. A-MAZING. Loved every part of it and I'm going to read it again- It was that good.