Thursday, March 1, 2012


     Last night I sat down with my roommates for family talk time. There has been so much going on in our lives, that we haven't had time to really fill each other in. As we were at the table, I had to make a list of everything I needed to tell them, because so much has happened lately. I began telling them what the last few weeks of my life has been like and slowly I started realizing that every random story I told was somehow intertwined with each other. Most of my stories didn't come with happy endings, so it became clear that something in my life needed readjusting. 

I have nothing to give but my honesty. That's the only thing I have when people would kill to see you hurt for just a few seconds longer. I was unaware that those few seconds would end up lasting a few years. I had become a prisoner in my own mind. I was trapped by the lies people created about me, just so they had someone to blame for THEIR mistakes. I'm a fighter. I'll fight for what I think is right, but when you fight for too long, it drains you of the only thing you have. Yourself. Somewhere along the road, I lost myself to the demons that were constantly knocking at my door. I was locked inside giving each and every one of them all the power. Then something happened. 

This is the part of the story where the princess gets saved & lives happily ever after... but no. Actually, I got hurt again. I dare say worse than ever. As i found myself on my knees trying to pick up the pieces that I had lost once again, life suddenly became a lot more clear. I was so hurt and angry that all I wanted to do was cry. I vividly remember sitting in my car, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, trying to cry. I was saying out loud, "Just cry! Come on!" I couldn't. I didn't have a single tear left to cry over a hurt heart. So instead of picking up the pieces.. I threw them away & brushed the past off my hands. 

What God has coming in the next few chapters of my life far surpasses anything I could ever imagine. I've settled for mediocre for far too long. God's idea of perfect for my life completely dominates what I "thought" was perfect. So right now, I'm detoxifying every negative aspect that is or once was from my life. I'm not just throwing it all away. I'm burning it. Because that was yesterday, and I'm not longer than person anymore. I'm better.

I don't know where my life is going, but I do know it's going somewhere incredible. All of my wildest dreams are going to come true and not ONE of them will involve you.. or you.. or you.

Take Risks & Tell Stories