This past weekend, I had a lot on my mind. Every time I have a lot on my mind, I wait till it becomes pitch black outside and go take a long drive. I have to concentrate on driving so it helps my mind not focus on the issues as much. I love to go out in the country where there is barely any light. It usually scares me out of my mind being alone in the dark but I think that’s why I like it. Sunday night, I literally drove till the road ran out. I was listening to this song repeatedly that gets to me every time I hear it.((song))
I was frustrated and confused yet still so happy with the direction my life was going in, so I drove and drove till I realized I was in the middle of nowhere. Now I got kind of scared so the first thing I did was lock my doors and tell myself God was protecting me. Haha. As I drove further down the road I came to a dead end where I saw this sign.
I came to a stop and sat there for a few minutes and watched my lights shine on the sign. Did I want to go left or right? The road was to narrow to turn around and frankly I didn’t really want to. I turned off the car, unlocked my door, got out, and walked around to the front of my car. I just starred at the sign. I started thinking about the current circumstances in my life. Do I want to turn left.. or right? Say yes or no? Try or not try? Risk or don't risk?
I can’t turn back and I honestly don’t want to. There is a reason it’s called your past. Those people and circumstances aren’t a part of your present for a reason. That’s not to say those people or things won’t make an appearance in your future, but if a bad experience or bad relationship was in your past, why would you want that in your future when you can have so much better? I want to keep moving.
I started to get cold, but I was legitimately unsure what direction to go. I could run into a mass murderer if I turned left, or have car trouble if I turned right or I could get killed by a car coming because I'm standing in the dark. ((I watch too many movies haha)) But, then again, I could miss out on something or someone incredible if I’m afraid of the bumps in the road on which ever path I take. I said a little prayer asking for guidance and I got back in my car and turned left. It lead me to a main road and I got back to the city. I felt so much peace after that. What’s life without trying or risking or exploring? I’ve decided to take the risk, trust myself, and trust God with my next steps.
Everything in my life is better than great. I'm so happy with the people that God has placed in my life. If you have tough decisions to make, don't be scared of which path to take. God doesn't always give us the ability to make the right decision, but he does give us the ability to take the decisions we've made, and make them right. So no matter what you decide, you can also decide to make it right. It's all going to work out.
Quote: "If love is not worth waiting for, it's not worth having."
Random Fact: My 21st birthday is in 21 days!!!!!