Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Because Of You

Look back on your life and think of the defining moments. Think about the times where people's words and actions had an affect on you. Think about the people that made those moments happen. Whether good or bad. Do those people know that they were the reason you had that life changing moment? These are a few of those moments…

The first time someone told me to stop fake smiling and show teeth in pictures because I had a beautiful smile… I remember it vividly.. and from that day I have ALWAYS showed teeth when I smile in pictures. This person most likely doesn’t remember this, but it gave me confidence and it meant SO much to me.
The first time I quit caring what people thought of me. I was walking up the stairs and fell hardcore on the concrete and while I was a mess and bleeding.. a guy walked up, laughed at me and asked if I was okay. Normally I would have become so anxious and embarrassed and run away.. haha.. but I just laughed and got up. Him laughing at and with me showed me that I don’t have to try and be perfect for other people. I can just be my clumsy self.. I have the scar to prove it.

The first time I knew I deserved better than how I was being treated. This person showed me what it was like to be cared for. They showed me I was worthy of having the absolute best in my life.. and all they did was hang out with me for a few hours. I will never forget those few hours. Ever since then I refuse to settle.

The first time a guy proved to me that not everyone’s the same. I honestly thought every single guy would hurt me. That no matter what, no one would just accept me for me... and then one smile and a friendly conversation proved to me that I was wrong. He has no idea. :) Maybe one day I'll tell him..

The first time someone told me they looked up to me. I was at one of my lowest of lows.. trying to find myself. Confused to whether I was even a good person. Then one day, someone told me they looked up to me, and it made me feel like I could be better not only for myself, but to set a good example for others.
The first time someone told me I wasn’t funny.. and meant it. (Yah, it sounds stupid) But I lost myself that day. I’m a funny person. I love to laugh.. and it felt like my best quality was stepped on. Then.. someone came along and told me that I keep them smiling and laughing even when they are having the worst day ever and to not ever change. Now I’m me again.
The first time I really felt God. I look back on that moment and all the God moments since and know he is there for me no matter what.

I am one of the most blunt people alive. I don’t want to go through life regretting words I wish I would have said, but for some reason.. I have a hard time telling a few people how important they are to me and how their words have had such an impact on me. I hope to one day tell some of these people they were a part of huge moments in my life that changed me forever. Remember those moments in your life, because they are the things that make you who you are today.
Confession: It's almost 11pm and I have yet to start studying for my test tomorrow.. Am I procrastinating? Why yes.. I am.. Am i worried about my test? Not at all.. 
Quote: "The only people who can truly know your story are the ones who helped you write it."

1 comment:

  1. Jilly Bean I just love your blog. Every time you write one I get all excited because I just know that it's going to be an eye-opening and thought-provoking experience. I just love them so much- please don't ever stop writing. :D