Monday, February 7, 2011


     I’ve been cooped up in a house for a week with all my crazy friends. It’s been a blast, but it also has given me so much time to think. It’s been a week of thinking BIG thoughts. Past thoughts, future thoughts, right this second thoughts, relationship thoughts, mistake thoughts, butterflies in my stomach thoughts, sad thoughts, risk taking thoughts..

     Isn’t it weird to think about your life now compared to one year ago? I was in a serious relationship, I was a journalism major, I still lived at home, I was struggling with friendships, and I felt like so much was missing. After living this past year, if I could have given my February 2010 self any advice, I think it would have been this: “There will be days where you hate everything. There will be days where all you will do is cry. People will hurt you, turn their back on you, and prove to you that no one can be trusted. BUT. Then one day you will take a risk. And it will change everything. You’ll find your fun loving, hilarious, beautiful self again. You will make friends that will remain by your side till the day you die. You will learn to trust. You will have the time of your life. And most importantly, you’ll believe in love again.” I spent most of 2010 being bitter. Not understanding why my world was crumbling. Then I realized.. It had to crumble. It had to crumble in order to build something new and better. I wasted so much time trying to hold on to the things of the past, that I didn’t realize I was getting in the way of a better life for myself. December 29th was quite eventful, but I will always remember that day because as I lay in bed that night, I told myself I was done. I was done getting in the way of fate and being miserable about things I couldn’t control. Then I woke up the next morning, got on a plane, and had the time of my life. Ever since then I have had a new outlook on life. There will always be bumps in the road. But I can cry about it, or laugh about it. I choose to laugh. I choose to be better.
     Is anything ever constant? Nothing in my life is, that’s for sure. I thrive on change. I think the only reason I thrive on change though is because, I have never had consistency in my life. Ever. I worked my whole life towards the Olympics and a college scholarship just to have it ripped away from me. I switched high schools my senior year after being at the same school for 11 years. I’m on my 3rd college so far. I worked hard in two relationships only to have them not work out. Not to mention, I’m in the process of changing my major.. again.  And I thrive on all of that. I thrive on change. I thrive on knowing after I graduate, I’m moving to an unknown place. It’s going to be spontaneous and insane. But that’s what I love. I’m a total “go with it” girl.

    Have you ever heard a story, talked to someone, watched an instance take place where you are thinking "I can't believe they just did that." I mean it happens ALL the time. Everyday. I love this quote because my whole life, I have had people judge "what" I did, instead of looking at "why" I did it. If you take anything away from this blog, I hope it's this-- Don't judge what someone does, before you know why they did it. Guys--you do this too but, don't over think what a girl does. Girls get nervous, say the wrong thing at the wrong time, look like a fool, stutter over their words, and text you way too much. Why? Because we like you. We want you to see we are worth taking a chance on and it simply just comes out looking a mess. But, I guess that's love ya know? Girls-- Let's all get along. haha yah right.. I know that will never happen, but I think before you cause drama in your mind or in your group of friends.. make sure you have all the details about a situation before you freak out on someone for what they did. If you want to know something.. ASK. All to often, friendships and relationships end because people don't just speak up and tell what's on their mind. Even if you are too scared, mad, nervous, embarrassed, sad, or just plain head over heels for someone.. It's always better to speak up, then to never know. 

Confession: Even though I thrive on change, I want someone to prove to me that love doesn’t have to. You seem like a pretty good candidate for that job... just sayin.
 Quote: “I don’t care about your past, all I want to know is if there’s a place for me in your future.”
             “In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.”

1 comment:

  1. Awesome blog Jill! But I must know what are you changing your major to? I feel out of the loop and I don't like it... We need to talk :) Could the major be.... Accounting? haha I wish.