I had such a great weekend. I can't even describe how happy I am to have certain people in my life. I felt so much peace, like I was right where i belonged. I didn't have an ounce of bitterness when I was home. I wasn't anxious or frustrated, because that is MY TOWN! I've lived there my whole life. I was driving back to school and I heard "My Town" by Montgomery Gentry-- and I just felt so in love with my life. I don't ever want to get to the point where I dread coming home.. never again. I’m turning 21 in a few short days and thinking about my birthday causes me to reflect over what my life was like at 20.
A year ago today, my life changed drastically. My world was turned upside down and I was really unsure of who I was at that point. I questioned every relationship I had. My relationship with God. My relationship with friends. Everything. I questioned who I was as a person. I questioned whether or not I deserved all the.. “bad luck” as you could say that I was getting. I was alone and just broken. One thing's for sure, I couldn't keep living like that. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about quitting school and just quit caring about everything. I had so much hurt in my life, the only thing that could fix it was turning to God. So I did. I left everything I had ever known and ended up finding more happiness than I ever thought was possible.
A year ago today... I wasn't even sure what love was. How sad is that? To not believe in the one thing that makes life SOO beautiful. I found myself being bitter and then at times not caring at all. But a few months ago I decided something needed to change. I prayed like crazy. I said “okay God. I’m ready to trust that you have a plan." You wouldn’t believe what prayer does. I don’t care what your religious views are. There is power in prayer friends. I’ve prayed about my future ever since that day multiple times a day. God knows the desires of my heart.. and he is going to fulfill his promises more than I can even imagine.
When I look back on a year ago today, I thank God for my unanswered prayers. I thank God for removing me from the bad situation I was in. I have NO regrets on the decisions I’ve made the past 365 days, because every single one of those days, I learned something about myself.
TODAY—I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I have a great family that has been blessed beyond belief. I have a bright and awesome future. I am the happiest I’ve ever been. And all the other great things in my life that I’m unsure about.. I have to be patient and trust that God has a plan. I can definitely say.. I have never felt so sure about anything in my life though. It feels good to have a positive outlook on life. Picture This:: The best way to describe it is I'm just so excited and I'm trying to run and God is holding on to the back of my shirt saying “HOLD ON WOMAN. YOU CAN HAVE IT BUT WAIT TILL I SAY GO!”
Yes.. I want to get married sooner rather than later, but I want God’s hand on the relationship every step of the way or I don’t want it at all. I’m sick of being unintentional. Pray about it people. It doesn’t matter if you are confused.. I’m confused like none other, but I know that God has me going down this path for a reason. I just need to let things fall into place in GOD’S TIMING. Once you let go and let God, you’ll be amazed at what will happen in your life.
Quote:: "If you really want something, don't be so impatient. Relax and wait for the right timing. Remember, No matter how many times you push the elevator button, It will not run any faster until it gets to the right floor."